Change

My life is in pieces.  Not like some would think - especially those who ‘know’ me.  I have a work-piece, home-piece, mom-piece, daughter-piece, sister-piece, ex-piece, friend-piece, coworker piece.  Notice anything not listed? Yeah, a ME piece.  I do things for everyone else and rarely for me.  That goes with the territory when you’re a mom, but everyone keeps telling me I need to do things for myself.  That’s really hard for me to do, but I’m going to try because I need to.  My kids are 14, 15 & 20.  My eldest is in the Army and is currently about 1,500 miles away from home.  My ‘little ones’ aren’t so little anymore and are typical teens who want to do things with their friends & without their parents. And sooner than I’d like to openly admit, they’ll be off & on their own.  So, I’m gonna try.  And this means change.  

The definition of change is:  “1. make or become different; 2. take or use another instead of.”  Change can be good, stressful, unwanted, needed, demanded.  The last 3 years of my life have been full of change.  Sometimes it’s felt like it’s constant change, and not always for the best.  One of the best men I’ve ever known in my life died.  My ex came back into my life in a way I didn’t think would ever happen.  Then recently, (like 4 days ago recently) I got rid of him again; well, at least he’s not living with us anymore.  With that change, other changes will come, some negative but mostly positive (I hope).  

 

 

With my 40th birthday swiftly approaching (it’s less than a month away now), I’ve decided that I need to make some very positive changes in my life before I wither away and die.  Not literally, but you get the picture.  I want things to change for the better in my life and I have to make them happen. I want a promotion at work, I want my kids to help out more & get better grades, I want to find someone to spend my life with, I want to lose weight & be healthier, but most of all, I want to be happy.  That’s something I haven’t been in a very long time. And I think this turn in my life is what that’s about - finding my happy piece.